Why do we have funerals?
It’s important to recognize that funerals are for the living, for those who will suffer the trauma of losing a loved one. It is through the funeral process that a number of emotional needs are met for those who grieve.

A funeral is similar to other ceremonies in our lives. Like a graduation ceremony, a wedding, a baptism, and a bar mitzvah, a funeral is a rite of passage by which we recognize an important event that distinguishes our lives. Regardless of the final disposition, whether it is burial or cremation, funerals serve a purpose.

The funeral declares that a death has occurred. It commemorates the life that has been lived, and offers family and friends the opportunity to pay tribute to their loved one.

The gathering of family and friends for the visitation and funeral service helps to provide emotional support so needed at this time. This will help those who grieve to face the reality of death and consequently, to take the first step toward a healthy emotional adjustment.

Psychologists have established that denial is a natural part of the grieving process. Until a bereaved person truly accepts the fact that a death has occurred, no progress can be made in resolving their grief. Research indicates that viewing the body of the deceased helps to fulfill the psychological needs of those who are left behind.

What options are available in services and disposition? Personalization is a valuable element of today's funerals.  Whether a ceremony is elaborate or simple, funerals are often individualized to reflect the life of the deceased and to hold special meaning for family and other survivors.  It may reflect one's religious beliefs as a re-affirmation of faith in a greater life beyond this world.

It may reflect the occupation or hobbies of the deceased.  It may center around an ethnic background or social affiliation.

Generally, a ceremony is conducted with the body of the deceased present.  In this sense, the ceremony provides an occasion for saying final goodbyes prior to disposition of the body.

In our society, three basic forms of final disposition are practiced.

The first is earth burial, which continues to be the form of disposition chosen most often.  Despite a misconception that burial space is limited, studies show that enough burial space is available to serve our future needs for more than a century.

Cremation is a form chosen by some.  This is actually a process of preparing the body for final disposition whereby the body is reduced by intense heat over several hours to a few pounds of small skeletal fragments. These cremated remains are usually placed in a memorial urn, which may be buried, placed in a memorial niche, kept in some other location, such as the home or scattered.

Finally, entombment in a crypt is also a choice and is one of the oldest forms of disposition, dating back before Christ. Today, most cemeteries maintain crypts for entombment, which may be in a mausoleum or in an outdoor garden.

How can your funeral service professional help?

Today, funerals are usually arranged and conducted by licensed and trained funeral directors who handle all the technical arrangements of a funeral as well as counsel on many of the personal ones.

The services he/she provides include removing the deceased from the place of death, obtaining the required legal documents, preparing the body for viewing, if desired; and for the funeral, arranging for the final disposition, providing facilities for the visitation and funeral service, and transporting the deceased and the mourners to the place of final disposition.

The funeral director also provides counsel to the family and other mourners.

What costs are involved?

The cost of services includes use of the funeral home facilities and equipment, motor vehicles and professional services provided by the funeral home staff.

The merchandise purchased for a funeral, while varying considerably because of individual consumer preferences, will generally include such items as a casket, vault or grave liner, memorial urn (only if cremated) and clothing.

Typically, a person making funeral arrangements may select from a group of ten to twenty-five caskets which range in price from several hundred to several thousand dollars. Caskets vary in price according to the materials from which they are made, the quality of their workmanship and the grade of the interior fabric.

If cremation is chosen, a casket or cremation container is chosen for the service, transporting the body and for the cremation; also, a container for the cremated remains is selected. Usually, the cremated remains are placed in a memorial urn. Urn prices will also vary depending on materials from which they are made.

What about prearrangement?

Usually, the task of arranging for a funeral falls to a small group or to a single survivor who may have little or nor warning. These people are most often unprepared for the many decisions they will need to make.

For this reason, planning ahead may be a good idea. Making your wishes known in advance can do much to help loved ones carry them out.

Discussing arrangements with your family is also essential, as the funeral affects them most directly. You may wish to leave your requests flexible to allow survivors to make appropriate arrangements for the fulfillment of their own emotional needs.

Prefunding a funeral service is another way to lessen the future burden on family members. It allows an individual to arrange a service at today’s prices, thus preventing escalating cots. And it avoids a later financial expense, at a time when family finances are often unsure.

Sometimes, in an effort to spare their loved ones expense or burden, people say, "Don’t go to any trouble for me – no funeral or any of that." However, people who would make such statements do not realize that the simplest way may not be the best way for their loved ones. There are no shortcuts in the grief process. A meaningful service tailored to the needs and desires of the family will be an important occasion for family and friends to remember the one who dies and to share the experience together.

Feel free to consult your funeral service professional at any time regarding questions you may have about funerals or advance planning.

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